No prices on my head!

Give me a broke man with heart and ambition..I’m not scared..I know how to be a team player..and work together to build an empire..for him..I’m ten toes down

Hand me a paid Nigga with too much ego and pride..I know how to show him money ain’t shit and his pride is overrated..for him..I smile..and walk away

I can’t be bought!!! Once I realized my worth..I knew no man alive could afford me..So there was no need for me to put a value on him in regards to my heart..
He has to give me what money cant buy his heart, ambition, determination, drive, all that good shit!!!

I make mistakes, I learn from everyone, And when it’s said and done, I bet this Brother be a better one, If I UPSET YOU, don’t stress, Never forget, that God hasn’t finished with me yet…-TUPAC

BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN

A reminder to myself

 

A reminder to myself:

Believe that you are awesome, because you are, and believe it because u said so. Your awesomeness needs no justification from anyone except for you.

Believe that any mountain in your way is movable or climbable because inside of you God lives, he can and will do all things while using you as a vessel

Believe that you are beautiful regardless of what society says is beautiful, I mean seriously, what does society know? The majority follow the trends they know nothing about being a trendsetter, and you, you are a trendsetter

Believe that your past is just that your past, middle finger up to those still talking about it because the truth is, they are only talking about your past because they are still living in theirs.

Believe that even on your worst days if you give your best tomorrow has no choice to get better.
And most importantly, BELIEVE! Believe in something, believe in yourself, everything started with a belief that it could be done now all you have to do is believe you are the one that can do it!

Beautiful day my people

"Straight Drop"
AshleeRoche

BE READY!

WOMEN: Just because u get lonely and WANT a man does not mean u are READY for a man..u must first find yourself..u can’t expect a man to help u find u..how can he give u what u want and u dont even know what u want..hell u cant stand to be with yourself..but expect someone else to put up with that shit..get your mind..your heart..and you up to par..so that u will be a help meet instead of a burden. Our women stay talking about how they cant find good man. You cant find a good man because you are a liability you dont have shit to bring to the table. Those music videos and the media have you feeling like all you need to have is a fat ass, some weave, and a name brand but real men like real shit. He doesnt care if you have an ass, he wants to know if you have some cash, and if you dont do you at least have a plan to get some. He doesnt care about your hair, he wants to know if there is a brain somewhere beneath the weave glue. Who cares if your shirt is by Chanel, he wants to know what your heart is like. Your nails yeah they look good on you, but he wants to know if you can pop off that acrylic long enough to build a foundation. And everyone loves those sexy red bottoms but in the game of love sometimes you have to go places that heels cant go, he wants to know do you have it in you to lace up some tennis shoes and fight this fight with him. Most of all, he wants to make sure you are you are comfortable with yourself. If you cant be comfortable with yourself you cant be comfortable with anyone else. It is a necessity for you to learn to be alone, some women have never been alone jumping from man to man to get that feeling of love. Its like a crackhead chasing his first high! The sad part is even if you do run into that feeling of love, you still wouldnt know it, the first feeling of love you should feel in your adult life is the love of yourself. Then you would know what love feels like so if anyone gives you any other feeling you would automatically know THEY GOTTA GO!! Men love women that know who they are, what they want, and arent afraid to go get it. If all you are bringing to the table are your insecurities, bills, babydaddy drama, and a headache then you should know why you are single. Then some of yall have requirements for men that you havent even lived up to!! He has to be handsome, have a good job, no kids, a car and a house but your ass is ugly, unemployed, with 5 kids, riding the bus, and living with your momma. BITCH, GET YO LIFE!! Instead of looking at his life look at your own..then ask yourself “If the shoe was on the other foot, would I want me?” HELL NAW!!!!

PSA

PSA: I don't know if you know it..but if women would get morals..learn to love other women instead of looking at them as competition..learn to love themselves and demand the respect they deserve..
It would force men to get back on their game..
Women lowered their value..and men noticed..so they lowered their effort..
U have the power..the power of the P
have u not noticed..they keep their swag up..cause that's all girls require in 2013..
require some respect and love..and they will give it..but its a team effort WE ALL MUST REQUIRE CHANGE..but it starts with you

The Right

Im pissed off and angry
what gives u the right
to lay down make a child
and leave a woman to fight
for 30 years she did it by herself
fed us, clothed us, kept us in perfect health
for 30 plus years she worked long hard days
working hard for people that barely wanted to pay
but she was a soldier tho she never would complain
she did what she had to do, sucked it up…
and charged it to the game
I never saw her cry as a child but I know she did
what about the times she wondered how to feed her kids
she never let it show we never knew it was hard
Hell, I never knew till I got the single mother card
Again I ask who the fuck are u to take away her life
just because she was strong enough to carry the weight
didn’t mean by herself
she should pay
Im pissed off and Im angry because she fought all of her life
now she is worn and tired..
and all we wanna do is make it alright
I talked to my brother he said sis i gotta make her proud
she worked so hard and gave so much
we gotta come thru for her now..
Im pissed off and Im mad cause he shouldnt have those thoughts
at 16 he should be focused on school
not the struggles that were fought
Im proud that he understands cause I know he will be a better man
But the lesson should have been taught by example not by the struggles of my mothers hands
Or maybe Im mad and pissed off because in himI see my son
and in my mother I see myself and what is to come
Again I ask what gives you the right
to give and then take a life
with no intention whatsoever of even doing right..I want a fucking answer tonight
then to have your nerve to do it again
to another woman giving her a predictable end
and live your life as if your right..i need some damn answers tonight
Im angry and Im pissed because she never was mad
in all the years i never heard her say one thing bad..
she never spoke down on men she didn’t have a bitter heart
she accepted life as it came..and played the best part
Im angry and Im mad..cause we had to learn on our own
the things that dads are supposed to teach even if they aren’t in the home
we gave ourselves the game spotting out the real from the fakes
to hell with the birds and the bees..we needed to know about the snakes
I WAS so angry and so mad..until I saw the blessing
watching her fight was the greatest lesson
we learned to stand tall..let nothing make u fall
accept what it is for what it is..and with your head up handle your biz
u may cry sometimes but don’t stay there long..lift your head, dry your eyes, and carry on
don’t hold grudges people make mistakes..just make sure u keep them in their proper place
but the greatest example was simple..make the best of what u have
don’t get caught up in the things from your past
you can’t change it..and don’t be bitter..starting today make a change
it won’t be easy..expect the sun but also a whole lot of rain
and never ever ever let the next see your pain
so my siblings and I will lace up our boots
and fight this good old fight
we will make changes get our paper up
and take care of our mother right
but again I have to ask..who are u to give and take a life..my heart just will not rest..I need answers tonight…

Where it starts

He said he wanted a Queen and she said she wanted a King..

But when God sent them what they asked for

The didn't recognize it..because they couldn't see the King and Queen in themselves

It starts with you
 

Change

I once read if u can't change a situation change what u think about it
So this is what I did
I decided to be an even better woman for the sake of my kids
Instead of looking at their fathers as worthless and with a lack of respect
I chose to love then even more for giving me lifes greatest gifts
Instead of talking shit about what they should be doing
I prayed that God have mercy as they create thei...r own ruin
The men that left me broken hearted and filled with tears
I have finally forgiven them after all these years
Learning to accept that I just was not the one and thanking them for making me the woman I have become
Refusing to keep a cold and bitter heart I realize now
That they played their part
Because until u feel the lack of love u don't recognize the real shit
You don't understand that there are certain things that u just have to deal with
Cause somebody started this fucked up rumor that real love doesn't hurt
But in all actuality that's the shit
That hurts the worst
see love and pain are one in the same
Had my head so gone I couldn't remember my name
Fighting day in and day out to keep love right
Is a million times more painful than giving up the fight
Because now the battle is within yourself
Stressin so bad u losing your health
Your hair falling out u went from a 12 to a 8
Cause love hurt so bad u couldn't eat a fourth of your plate
But in your heart you knew that was the one for you
So there was no limit to what you would do
Cause he may fuck up and I may do the same
But when someone spoke of true love all I could hear was his name
So why make things harder than they have to be? Bottom line I loved them and they loved me
So why be mad at the fact we didn't make it..that we couldn't make love last
taking aggression out on new hopefuls because of the men in my past
Id rather be thankful for the time we spent, memories made, and the places we went
learning that this isn't the end of life
But a chance to take what I've learned and make shit right
see once I changed my way of thinking it all made sense
These things were all seasonal
Meant to be past tense
from every situation I received
Wisdom and strength
I came out so much better than what I went in

Peter Pan

I see a growing trend of men 30 and over saying they arent ready..

Well fuck..you had 30 years to marinate and you still aint ready to eat..

Smh..Im disappointed..30 is not the new 20..its the same ol 30..(in my Lyfe voice)

Men should be buying houses and building foundations..

Instead they playing house, chasing hoes, and forgetting that in time they will get old..
...
Then there will be a role reversal..

and the young playa ass peter pan nigga

is now the old lonely dried up trick nigga..

Haha..I have seen it happen..

Do you believe in black love

Do you believe in black love

Do you Believe in Black Love?

Naz: yes.

Do you believe that a black couple can last and be strong?

Naz: yes, i am not going to give up on hope for the black community, women have to set higher standards for themselves, and black men have to stop bashing/degrading black women through stereotypical standards.

What do you think black love is?

Naz: i think black love is when 2 black people come together and accept one another with everything, welcoming them with open arm. it is peace and happiness with people that happen to be black, it’s happiness and equality within the relationship.

In your opinion, do you think black love will prosper or diminish?

Naz: I’m not going to put an experation date on it, it’s a 50/50 chance.

How do you feel about this survey and do you think it’s beneficial?

Naz: i think the survey is very, i like the survey it made me really think about something I never put a lot of thought into. to the black community the survey is beneficial

This was taken off of tumbler on a page called Natural Hair I Am..I found it very interesting..something to think about

That about sums it up :)

Acting White

I remember them calling me a white girl..because I spoke like I was educated..liked country music..had a Passion for poetry..was into modeling and acting..had a heart that never stayed bitter..and did not discriminate against who I dated or hung around..they picked on me..so over time with me being young and impressionable..I started to change to be more like them so I could be accepted..and here I am 30 years later..realizing I was NEVER that person..matter of fact I didn’t even like her..which explains why I was never happy until now…I went back and Reclaimed ASHLEE..and she is AWESOME!! We often forget who we are trying to impress others trying to fit into these circles and we are squares. We weren't meant to fit into anything but the skin that we are in. It took a long time for me to be proud of my differences its kind of hard to do being the odd one out. When I moved to the North side of town I didnt understand much of anything especially how angry some of the people were. I was coming from schools were I was the minority to a school that I was the majority and I was treated worse there than I was ever treated on the other side of town. I would be asked questions like "Why do you put grease in your hair?" or if a new dance like the running man or the roger rabbit came out I was expected to know how to do it, but that was about it. They were just showing that they didnt understand but on the North side it was different. I looked like them but I didnt act like them and since they didnt understand they automatically charged it off as if something was wrong with me they never took the time to ask any questions that would have given them a better understanding. I was talked about silly shit like "she think she all that" or "she act white. "What the fuck is acting white anyway?" "How do u act a color" If I say "act purple", please tell me exactly what you are going to do? I guess maybe it was because I spoke properly, at that time I didnt know the hottest music, and had never seen any of the hood classics like Boyz n the Hood and Menace to Society. To be honest I still havent seen a majority of of those movies there is nothing enjoyable to me about my people doing ignorant shit. I know they are just movies but I dont have to watch that shit, all I have to do is open a newspaper and there are true stories just like those  movies that are in black and white. My highschool years were when I learned the immediate disconnect between black and white people, we have totally different ways of thinking. Black people are more closed minded and negative, NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE, but a vast majority. Most fear what they dont know and think they know everything. But what bothered me the most was when I was "acting white" (whatever that is) they used to say I thought I was too good. The funny thing was I thought I was the same as them a black teenager. Which left me to ask, was the reason they said I acted like I was to good for them because of my "acting white" or was it because of a deep seated feeling within them that white people where better than them? I mean that is the only way to justify them saying me "acting white" and "acting like Im better than them" in the same sentence. Especially when I had no problem whatsoever with them, they disliked me, I didnt dislike them. They disliked themselves. So to prove to them that we were no different I "dumbed" myself down, did things that were completely out of my character, and started to change, all this for a little bit of acceptance. I failed myself. As I have grown I realized that I should have stood strong in who I was because maybe I could have opened a few minds. I should have let them know that there was nothing wrong with knowing how to speak proper english, my proper english is the reason that I can walk into any office environment and walk out with a simple clerical job. I should have let them know that to only listen to one genre of music is limiting yourself and its ok to broaden their horizons. I should have helped them to change negative ways of thinking and views of the world. But most of all, I should have let them know its okay do be yourself, you dont have follow the trends of your community because you were made to be diverse. If I had just known then what I know now, I would have told them, as long as you are thinking, acting, speaking and dressing like the trends, you will always be on the same level as them. They are followers and you, you were born to be a trendsetter. There are some ways about me that I learned from the hood, that will ALWAYS be a part of me, I still have the ability to go from Dr. office receptionist to hood bitch in a matter of minutes given the right situation. So its in me but it isnt who I am. I thank God for the opportunity to actually live within both cultures because I was able to pick up on the best of both worlds. I was able to see that no two were better than the other there are ratchett ass white people as well as ratchett ass black people one is just shown in the media more than the other. I love my people in all of their beauty. I just want us to learn to love ourselves.

When u need a hit of “Straight drop”

www.ashleeroche.tumblr.com
www.ashleeroche.blogspot.com
www.twitter.com/ashleeroche
www.facebook.com/ashleeroche2

Know your level

We have to learn to be more conscious of what we are doing and the consequences to those actions.

In order to make it to the top you have to work your way from the bottom.

We cant be at the bottom wasting time and money playing dress up like we are at the top.

No matter what you have on, you are still a bottom feeder, you are just a bottom feeder with a Coach bag and your kids are just bottom feeders with Jordans on their feet.

Then we have these spoiled ass kids that have a completely distorted view of what real life is about.

We send them out as sheep amongst the wolves.

We teach them that you dont have to have shit as long as you look like you do.

There are levels to this shit know yours..

NEVER LET 'EM STEAL YOUR SHINE!!

The Journey

I am finding that the joys of "making it" really are in the journey. There is nothing like waking up in the morning knowing that even though I'm not there yet, I am definitely on my way. Its the butterflies in my stomach that let me know Im headed in the right direction. Some people are so anxious about the end that they forget to enjoy right now! Right now is the most important part of my story that stretch between not having a clue and finding the real you! Every letter that I type brings me one step closer to revealing the best of me.
It doesnt matter what you are doing as long as you are doing it, not trying to do it, but doing it! A friend of mind told me to take "trying" out of every sentence that I use for I am not trying to do anything. I am doing something and in time what I am doing will be something that I have DONE!
Never let anyone or anything steal your shine including your journey. It may feel like your road has rocks, broken bottles, and glass all over it and your walking with barefeet but hold your head up! Learn to find the good in your troubles and remember every lesson. There has to be a paved road coming and if not eventually you will come across someone with enough heart to hand you a pair of shoes.
Whatever you do dont quit, it would be a tragedy for you to walk 500 miles just to stop when your only a mile away!!

Good day my friends
"Straight Drop"
AshleeRoche'

 

If I have to have sex with u..to keep your attention..I don’t need your attention..what I have learned is that sex has major side effects..for example..your judgement becomes flawed..it gives false feelings..and not to mentions babies & STDs..which turns into I’m in love with someone I don’t even like, that doesn’t like me..I’m 4 months pregnant, he say the baby isn’t his, and he gave me trich…BUT I love him tho..I’M GOOD..LOL..I’LL WAIT!!!

I look at my daughters and wonder "am I doing my part?" Am I telling them all the things that growing up I didnt know..so they wont go the places I chose to go..

Then I look at my son..knowing in my heart I can do the best I can..but I alone cant raise a man..

Then I look up..with the weight of the world on my shoulders..and tears rolling down my face..with guilt because my decisions brought me to… this place..
and although I did not do it alone..Im the only one that can right this wrong..

I fall to my knees..and pray “Father God help me please”..
and he says “Didnt I say I would supply all of your needs”

So I stand up..and wipe my face..
I still have to finish my race..those hurdles placed in my path
will one day be things of the past..
because when my legs are to weak to run..
God will carry me till the race is done…

AS I AM

I come as I am in all of its beauty to bring truth and change my world. I am not politically correct nor do I wish to be. There are a certain type of people that will relate to my story and to my struggle. I am still fighting this battle as I am not perfect but I am learning. My only wish is to have people to learn from me and with me. I will expose myself to save myself. Free your mind and the rest will follow will be my motto and I promise to keep it real..Fuck how they feel! I have arrived!

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Black women..stop saying our black men..aint shit..

Black men..stop saying your black women..aint shit

We are something..

And together we are everything

When u need a hit of "Straight drop"

www.ashleeroche.tumblr.com
www.ashleeroche.blogspot.com
www.twitter.com/ashleeroche
www.facebook.com/ashleeroche2

Its hard to tell your children to reach for the stars, if you have never touched one. I cant quit, my children are waiting on me to give them the directions. I am their navigation system, if I'm lost so are they.

$7 child support checks

I got a $7.00 child support check, yeah, $7 dollars!! Im rich, me and the kids are fixing to ball out at the nearest Ruth Chris. Ok..probably not thats a little exagerrated. Im actually about to go buy some milk and a loaf of bread..that should about do it!! Everytime I get one of these checks I want to drive to my hometown, kicking in doors, till I find that nigga! Yes, I called him a nigga because he is acting like one. Contrary to popular belief there will always be bitches and niggas, not with any color attatched to it, there are white bitches and white niggas too! Niggas do nigga shit and this is nigga shit. Im pissed. This anger lasted for all of 10 minutes until I realized that I was the one to blame. This was one time that I had no way to excuse myself. What he was doing to me was nothing new,  I watched him do it to other women before me, I guess I just figured he would never do it to me. Its funny how we will see a man and how he has interacted with other women and put our blinders to it like we are not the same. Like yourself and the other women are on totally different levels so "he knows better than to play with you" What the hell is wrong with us? If we were on a different level from the last woman, we wouldnt even be fuckin with this nigga, cause HE wouldnt be on our level. It amazes me how we will make excuses for these niggas because we WANT them but after they do all the ignorant shit that we can handle, they aint shit! We are fucking nuts! He isnt doing anything any different than he was doing when we first met him, we just thought that if we showed him that we were superwoman, he would magically turn into superman. When he didnt turn into Superman you became angry and bitter because you feel played. You gave too much and he never gave near enough. Umm No, BOOBOO!! That is not the way the shit works. If we would get the penis off of our brains and use a lot more intelligence and a lot less emotion we wouldnt have these issues. When they show you who they are believe them!! You cant change him you have too much you need to change about yourself. I cant be mad at him, he was a $7 type nigga when I met him. And I loved it. haha..so I'm gonna lace up my shoes and get to it, no sense at being angry for something I asked for and being bitter only halts my dreams. There is something about accepting responsibility for my decision making that makes my struggle a lot easier.

Ima keep it real
screaming "fuck how they feel"
"Straight Drop"

AshleeRoche'

Coach bags and Foodstamp cards

Coach Bags & Foodstamp Cards

I think if I see another person pull a foodstamp card out of a Coach purse I am going to scream!! This is a blatant display of how fucked the thinking of our culture is. Its like parking a Bentley in the projects the shit just dont mix!! There are levels to this shit and if you are on government assistance you are not on the coach bag level!!! I know its easy to see the latest trends and want those things, the problem is that we see them and want them right now!! That is not the right thought process to have if you see something that you want you need to research what the person that is capable of buying that item did to produce that type of income. Dont research where they bought the bag research what type of work they do and see where your talents would fit in to produce that income for you. Is not enough to be impressed with what they have you must be impressed with what they did to get those things. We have been raised to think that all you have to do is LOOK like money but what they forgot to tell you is trying to look like money leaves you with a lack thereof. They also left out the part that no matter what you have on your arent fooling anyone because as soon as you open your ratchet ass mouth we know exactly what level you are really on. Living above your means today leaves you to wake up to the same struggle tomorrow. Get your shit togther.

I'm gonna keep it real...screaming fuck how u feel!!
If you feel some type of way..its time for a change..
"Straight Drop"

Ashleeroche'

Coach Bags & Foodstamp Cards

I think if I see another person pull a foodstamp card out of a Coach purse I am going to scream!! This is a blatant display of how fucked the thinking of our culture is. Its like parking a Bentley in the projects the shit just dont mix!! There are levels to this shit and if you are on government assistance you are not on the coach bag level!!! I know its easy to see the latest trends and want those things, the problem is that we see them and want them right now!! That is not the right thought process to have if you see something that you want you need to research what the person that is capable of buying that item did to produce that type of income. Dont research where they bought the bag research what type of work they do and see where your talents would fit in to produce that income for you. Is not enough to be impressed with what they have you must be impressed with what they did to get those things. We have been raised to think that all you have to do is LOOK like money but what they forgot to tell you is trying to look like money leaves you with a lack thereof. They also left out the part that no matter what you have on your arent fooling anyone because as soon as you open your ratchet ass mouth we know exactly what level you are really on. Living above your means today leaves you to wake up to the same struggle tomorrow. Get your shit togther.

I'm gonna keep it real...screaming fuck how u feel!!
If you feel some type of way..its time for a change..
"Straight Drop"

Ashleeroche'